With graduation ceremonies and various other rites of passage occurring through-out the land, spring is the season of advice-giving. It is not necessarily the season of advice-taking, of course. Sometimes wisdom has to seep in, as a gentle rain provides the moisture that eventually helps seeds sprout.

The tradition and formality of these ceremonial occasions provide the conditions necessary for the dispensing of advice. Young people are required to be there and sit more or less quietly. Adults are expected to speak to them about important matters.

Whether the young people listen is beside the point The desire of adults to hand down what they've learned (whether or not they've lived by it) is inherent in our species. It is so strong that the younger generation's tendency to pay little or no attention is no deterrent. With lessons in virtue, as with sit-ups, repetition is presumed to build strength.

Permit me, please, to join the chorus. Here are 10 of my own rules for living. Use them if they seem useful.

1. Finish what you start, usually.
   If you open it, close it. If you drop it, pick it up. If you mess it up, clean it up. Otherwise somebody else will have to. Seldom will that person be grateful for the opportunity.
   la. Sometimes perseverance is Invaluable; sometimes it is foolish. Learn to tell the difference.
   In his inauguration as president of the University of North Carolina a decade ago, Dick Spangler cited a memorable dictum: "No matter how far you've gone down a wrong road, turn back."
   
   
2. Associate with the kind of people you want to be.
   Find people you admire, and learn from them. Usually they are glad to pass on what they've learned. After all, that's how they learned it. Give them the opportunity to teach, and be grateful for it.
   
   
3. Don't dismiss what you don't understand.
   However things are, they probably are that way for what somebody considered a good reason. Before making a judgment, find that reason. Such knowledge may not change your mind, but may inform your thinking, and certainly will help you understand people who disagree with you.
   
   
4. Be reliable.
   The world is full of smart people, quick people, good-looking people, smooth-talking people. There is a persistent shortage, however, of reliable people. Be one, and you'll be a scarce item in a hungry market. Addendum: Being responsible doesn't always mean doing what you said you'd do. It does always mean making sure that the people expecting you to do it know you won't, and why.
   
   
5. Value something more than you value yourself.
   There are timeless values that people have lived for and died for. Learn about them. If they make sense to you, embrace them. Its important to be a part of something that is larger than you are. People who are wrapped up in themselves tend to make very small packages.
   
   
6. When you know what you want to do, take at least one step toward that goal each day. At that rate your progress may be slow, but it gets you farther faster than any amount of sitting and wishing.
   
   
7. Understand that you are a work In process.
   You have more power to determine who you will be than most people ever imagine. Use it.
   
   
8. Treat people the way you'd like to be treated.
   If they don't reciprocate, the problem is with them, not you. Don't let others determine how you act.
   
   
9. Learn to laugh at the world, and especially to laugh at yourself.
   Life is so full of ridiculous things that sometimes laughter is the best, and the healthiest, response.
   
   
10. Expect things to go wrong.
    Sometimes things don't work out as you wished, and your plans crumble. That's life. The only time there is no possibility of conflict with others is when you're alone. The only way to avoid errors entirety is to do nothing. Unless you want to spend your life by yourself doing nothing, expect setbacks. Deal with them using rules 1-9.
    
    

    Ed Williams is editor of The Observer's editorial pages. Write him by mail at The Observer, P.O. Box 30308, Charlotte, NC 28230-0308. or by fax at 703-358-5022.
    

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